What Darkness Took

They say darkness reveals everything.

For me, it takes everything.

All day I smile like I’ve figured life out,

like I’m steady, like I’m whole.

Then night comes…

and it all slips.

I sit there in the dark

and suddenly it’s not strength anymore

it’s just me

and everything I’ve been running from.

I don’t just miss you.

I miss what you made me feel like.

Certain. Chosen. Safe.

Like I had somewhere to land

when the world got heavy.

Now it’s quiet.

Too quiet.

I close my eyes to sleep

but my mind doesn’t rest.

It turns against me.

Every fear shows up.

Every failure pulls a chair.

And they sit there laughing

like I’m the joke.

Then I see you…

happy

in a life that kept moving

without me.

And that’s the part that breaks me.

Because somewhere in my head

there’s still a version of us

that made it.

Still a life where you stayed.

Still moments that should’ve been real

but never got the chance.

I plan my conquest.

I make plans in the dark

tell myself we'll find our way back.

be better

be enough

but the same voice always comes back

telling me I was never built to win this.

So I sit there…

talking to God

hoping He’s still listening

hoping somehow

He leads me back

to you

to us

to something that isn’t this emptiness.

Because the truth is

the dark doesn’t lie.

It reveals just who we are

when there’s nothing left to hide

and some nights…

I don’t feel like ever seeing the light ever again.